While updating my text message thread with this photo of one of my best friends, Vicky, and me, I was reminded of a healing session I had last week with my Inner Being, which you might think of as Higher Self or Holy Spirit. Because when I found that picture, I realized just how important friendships like this are in this Universal awakening process. And that, clearly, that my Inner Being was not done with that lesson from the week before. In fact, this was a full circle moment.
You see, this healing session was the most significant event that had happened to me in a long time, and so much crystalized during it that involved returning to higher states of consciousness. But I guess just reflecting on that healing session, more information was being revealed to me about how crucial it is to have these special people in our lives while trying to navigate this very complex and challenging awakening process. These amazing friends remember who we are even when we have forgotten. They’ve seen us through all the phases of our lives and while we may doubt ourselves, they do NOT. They represent what we think of as Camelot and Utopia or higher realms of existence where you are known and loved for who you are. This realm of consciousness is where we create, collaborate, experience, and celebrate individual and soul tribe expansion.
What was also being revealed to me in that moment is just how our Inner Beings are working overtime to get us to higher realms of consciousness. For this realization about friendships solidified my lesson learned in that healing session of how important coming home to self-love and self-acceptance is. That while these incredible friends were there to see us through the rough times, it is even more important that we can find that love and acceptance within ourselves!
I knew right then, I needed to write about my Inner Being healing experience.
I woke up in the middle of the night last week after three only hours of sleep. Perplexed as to why I was wide awake, I asked out loud (as has become my new habit), “OK. What do I need to see right now?” It was clear to me that my Inner Being wanted to do some soul work. And if you’re not sure you can relate, or have never had that experience personally, consider the movie “Scrooge” or “It’s a Wonderful Life.” In these movies, the characters are shown events that “bring them along” and help them to improve their life situations.
Over five hours, my Inner Being revealed that the highly polarized state of Earth is not by chance and is an extremely important part of our awakening process. Furthermore, severe polarization has served to undeniably trigger us to see things that we desperately need to see within ourselves. So, things that trigger us as external projections that we disassociate from need to be faced and integrated back into ourselves. Those things that trigger us reflect unpleasant aspects of our multi-dimensional selves that we don’t wish to see. And only when we welcome those pieces of us home and forgive ourselves for having negative aspects, can we truly love and accept ourselves and then others.
This internal work helped me to first recognize and then resolve issues that have plagued me for several years. That night, my Inner Being showed me how unhappy I had gradually become and why. And, while I was making huge progress in my life, it was now time to fully integrate aspects of myself, across the arc of time, that I didn’t know how to acknowledge. The depth of shame and guilt I’d felt over the last several years was revealed to me, along with the why of being in that space. It was easy to admit that I was feeling badly about myself; but, for the life of me, I hadn’t understood why.
I now started to see how I had been running from my shame, trying to create a better reality for myself by focusing on external things. No matter how much I accomplished, however, I felt feelings of dislike for myself. My Inner Being showed me that the root cause of that self-criticism and sometimes self-hatred was in fact the very things that had been triggering me and yet had been unresolved until now.
There were times I was triggered because I failed to establish proper boundaries; and as a result, ended up ‘caving in’ to someone else’s priorities. Whatever the issue, I’d immediately forgive the other person and take full responsibility for my feelings and the reaction I had. But this approach didn’t stop the same triggers from reoccurring; and, unhappily, I’d continued in a downward spiral.
Not liking my own negative feelings, I withdrew from people and their expressed needs. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I did this because it seemed like the only way to deal with triggering and my inability to resolve the issues behind those triggers. It was just far easier to be alone. Unfortunately, people that I couldn’t fully withdraw from still triggered me.
Covertly hating that aspect of myself really made my life miserable at times. During those moments, looking into a mirror was hard because I struggled to see the good inside. Often, I’d see an old and ugly face staring back at me. As a result, I felt the need to work on changing my appearance so I could feel younger and prettier. But, unfortunately, even as I tried to push those feelings away or talk myself out of them, the more unhappy I became.
When people said or did something that triggered me, I experienced it as criticism of me personally. I’d become defensive and feel the need to immediately react. Even if I ended up feeling bad about how I responded and apologized afterwards, it still didn’t resolve the feelings I had. During this Inner Being session, I learned that my response to these triggers came from my own judgment and intolerance. And that what had driven me crazy about someone else was always my unconscious projections onto them. This made me feel guilty or unhappy. As this information was shown to me, I was able to accept this and let go.
My Inner Being showed me that I HAD been learning valuable lessons in setting boundaries. And while I was expanding in my career and becoming much more abundant in it, I was also making changes in my personal life that significantly improved everything. As a result, I saw that I had already been making leaps and bounds, so this session with my Inner Being not only revealed what needed to be resolved, but also was a reminder that I had already come a long way.
I was shown that this process was just another necessary part of awakening. Identifying aspects of us that we’re unaware of enables us to deal with and accept those vibrations and integrate them into ourselves. That it’s necessary to do this to help us to realize that we project things out into the world to trigger our own healing with purpose! Only upon seeing those projections, can we clear the feelings associated with that we which find undesirable in ourselves and others. And only then can we truly integrate them lovingly back into Self.
I was asked to remember a time when I felt completely accepted, loved, and seen by others for who I truly am. That was easy. My mind instantly transported me back to a time when I was living with Vicky (mentioned at the beginning). Vicky is one close friend who has seen me during many phases in my life, having been my roommate Windcliff, at an apartment complex in Atlanta.
Windcliff represented some of the happiest times of my life! Life was one big celebration with people I adored! It was a period during my life when I loved everybody, and they loved me. I never felt insecure or disliked. We had a ‘tribe’ of 20-30 people that did lots of things together. I suppose some might relate it to college life. We lived, laughed, and celebrated life mostly at the pool! There were volleyball wars, group dinners outings and movies, as well as long and deep conversation, ‘hat & tie’ parties, sleepovers, and more. I was so happy! And remembering that special time was incredibly healing for me; it satisfied my need to belong.
I continued to think of other times when I was happy and felt loved. My incredible childhood experience was growing up in a small idyllic town with 700 kids in my graduating class alone. We loved to celebrate life together albeit back then at the pool, parties, sporting events and more. While I was often insecure and had to fight that feeling frequently, I still loved every minute of it!
My child-raising years were spent within a great neighborhood of school/parent connections. I also had a great online spiritual community, where I found a tribe of people from all over the world, who were awakening to the same things as me. We spend time on chat threads and message boards, celebrating the changes coming to the Earth!
These experiences represented the celebratory aspect that stands out to me as the ultimate destination for all of life. And I was shown what I was missing was the celebration of being with others; and, how my life had had become devoid of this ‘unity consciousness’ and the events to celebrate it. Without realizing it, I’d cut myself off through my own self-judgment. Now that I understand all this, I’m certain the last couple of years were a completely necessary period to get to where I am now. It was SO worth it!
Calling back and transmuting these undesired aspects so we can achieve the self-love that returns us to connection with others is what many people are experiencing right now. This playing out of our individual timelines leads to a new reality as we get a better understanding of Who We Are. Utter and complete acceptance of SELF is the result of awakening to our true Creator Being Selves, within God, Source, and All That Is. It is now time to really claim who you are in all your myriad of expressions, integrating those lovingly into your SELF. Because you are way more powerful than you even know.
The love you feel for your SELF will heal all outside false projections that you are imperfect. For you ARE perfect. You are created PERFECT and have only forgotten Who You ARE. And that was part of joining this game. You did nothing wrong in forgetting Who You Are. It was not a mistake, or something imposed on you. It was part of this Universe of Light. And this polarized Realm is coming to an end in favor of a much Higher Realm where you remember! Then everything changes!
Love to you and thanks for allowing me to share this journey with you. I always aim grateful for being able to share my truth and honest journey as clearly as I can. I trust you will receive this information in a way that enhances your journey even a tiny bit!
You might want to check out my 3-part video series on my “What on New Earth?” YouTube channel as these videos go into further detail and offer some in depth insights shared by my Inner Being.
YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU5DpxAYNEGFFXY6cbOF3dQ